Starting Roughly from Somewhere in the Middle

Starting out on such an auspicious project, such as this, its difficult to live up to the grandeur of the title and still dodge the label of pretentiousness. The following stories and events are almost certainly embellished, coming as they do from the mind of a person who is not sure that anything that has ever happened to him has actually happened in the way he remembers, but they are laid out plainly for the reader to make their own judgements.

It is my hope that this collection of tidbits from a life lived clumsily and with an increasingly skewed perspective of its own purpose will assist all who read it in dodging the ominous pitfalls in their own lives. It may be asking too much of the writer to carry through on these hopes but that falls in line with the very substance and fibre of the stories themselves.

At times the stories will be humorous, at times horrific, but rest assured that all conclusions were reached poorly and all morals and lessons are inconclusive at best.

You have been cautioned, dear reader, you have been told that what you are about to face is real, fake, frightening, a pack of lies, the convoluted thoughts and machinations of a self deluded prick. But they are told to you honestly and without reservation by someone who feels it cannot have been that bad, and it cannot have been for nothing.

Thank you, and enjoy.

Or don't. That's entirely up to you.